Just by his being there, the ex-prime minister undermines the honour of every brave fighter he meets in this tour of the war’s frontline. Boris Johnson: Into Ukraine’s Kill Zone should never have made it to TV.
At the start of the hour-long documentary following the former prime minister on his journey to the frontline of the ongoing hostilities between Russia and its coveted neighbour, viewers are shown this caption:
“This film presents Boris Johnson’s perspective on the conflict in Ukraine. The views expressed are subjective and reflect his own interpretations of events.”
What is this? A disclaimer? Arse-covering by a company that saw the rushes and took fright? A reminder of the inherent bias in all accounts of history, in all stories? Or is it as blatant a warning as possible that what you are about to see is presented by a known liar, a shapeshifting, self-serving narcissist whose mask long ago ate the face? Did the first draft of the caption read “Yes, we know, he’s full of it” or “Regrets? We have a few”? Or perhaps just “Sorry”?
How does Boris Johnson behave on the frontline?
From the moment the film begins, viewers are beset by questions instead of the ones Boris wants them to be thinking about: “Does Putin’s cruelty have any chance of success?” He interrupts soldiers trying to explain their individual and national situation with painful attempts at blokey camaraderie. He refers endlessly to their guns as
“50 cal [calibre], right?”He crows,
“You shot the arse off that one!”and assures an army chaplain
“I’ll pray for Ukraine’s victory all right!”
Your own questions nag throughout. One many people will ask is whether putting a man who long ago ceded any kind of moral authority, a man whose reputation for untruth taints everything he touches, in charge of a documentary does not instantly hole the entire endeavour below the waterline.
I would say yes, and that the thing lists further and further with just about every contribution made by its ever-blustering presenter. Over the course of the hour, he turns it from a serious undertaking into a new edition of the Boris Show, which most of us hoped had been cancelled for good after its increasingly shabby three-year run, 2019-22.
Much dwelt on is the fact that he needs to remain incognito to keep himself and his companions safe. So he clumsily – such a natural clown! – puts on a balaclava. Then he gets his flak jacket on backwards, and even once it is fitted properly on him it rides up at the back so that he looks ridiculous. This could be sorted. This is not real, nags that background voice again. This is showmanship in a war zone.
Does he offer any serious analysis?
The dazzling rhetoric for which he was always so unjustly famed is on full, matte display here. When he and the crew spend their first night in an apartment at the edge of the kill zone, he is woken by the sound of bombs exploding nearby.
“The truth is,”he says the next day,
“if it had come through our window, we wouldn’t have known a thing about it, and there you go.”It really makes the endless suffering of the civilians and soldiers who have been under bombardment for the last four years live, you know? Sometimes it is combined with a faux modest heroism that grates even more than the blokey camaraderie. When they have to leave a street whose bomb damage they are inspecting with local troops because a drone is incoming, he assures us it is because
“I don’t want to query the authority of a battalion commander. If he says we’ve gotta pull out, we’ve gotta pull out.”The careful elision to connote real emotion is really nicely done.
Maybe he will make up for the fly-on-the-wall stuff with the film of Reflective Boris back in the studio? Surely then we will get some political analysis of the situation, how it came to be, how it might be solved, what options are open to national and international powers?
“I just don’t think I’ve ever seen such a clear case of right and wrong … This thing has gotta stop and the west has just gotta snap out of its complacency … It’s wrong.”And there you go.
At best, you might think it’s Alan Partridge Does Geopolitics. But then it ends with this caption:
“It is widely acknowledged, including by Ukrainian officials, that Mr Johnson played a direct part in persuading Kyiv to abandon the Istanbul talks of spring 2022 – that were close to a settlement – in favour of continued fighting. He therefore has a share of responsibility for the resulting loss of life, Ukrainian, Russian and British alike.”
And you realise that your worst take was right. This is not merely a shambolic programme shambolically presented. It is a programme on which the plug should have been pulled early, instead of gifted to a man who undermines the honour and dignity of every fierce, brave, homesick fighter he meets just by being there.
Boris Johnson: Into Ukraine’s Kill Zone aired on Channel 5.
