Overcoming Social Anxiety Through Photography
Observing Tom Wilkins approach strangers on the streets might suggest he is naturally confident; however, he has battled social anxiety for most of his life.
Tom, 36, only began using a camera about 10 months ago. A chance meeting with a stranger inspired him to start photographing some of the most distinctive individuals in Cardiff, the capital of Wales.
Previously, Tom struggled with crowded environments and experienced frequent panic attacks. Through sharing his street photography on Instagram, he has amassed over 70,000 followers.
His primary objective was to empower others and "give people a voice," but in doing so, he has also aided his own recovery.
"The positive feeling you can get from giving someone a compliment and how they react to that completely outweighs any anxiety,"
"It becomes a high almost that gets rid of the anxiety, so I'm just chasing it."
Seeking to understand this experience firsthand, I wore my most stylish blouse and accompanied Tom as he sought out his subjects.
Discovering Photography and Its Impact
While walking, Tom recounted his initial encounter with photography:
"I hadn't thought about photography before... my wife had an old camera just laying around, I picked it up, went out, absolutely loved it.
"I was walking back from Cardiff Bay to the town centre and I walked past this absolutely incredible punk woman, she looked absolutely amazing.
"I knew I had to stop her to ask for a picture, so I did.
"Just the buzz I got from the interaction, the way she smiled when I told her she looked amazing, just the whole energy from the whole thing, I knew I had to experience that again."
Although Tom still experiences nervousness when approaching people and has more anxious days than others, he consistently feels better afterward.
"Before I started doing this I struggled with crowded spaces, I was having panic attacks, having to leave places early because I couldn't handle it anymore,"
"Through doing this what I have managed to do is develop my own understanding of my own anxiety and that's helped me to be able to manage it better."
Becoming a Recognizable Presence in Cardiff
On a sunny spring day walking through Queen Street, it became evident that Tom had become well-known; three out of five people we approached recognized his work.
One individual initially declined, extending a hand with a "no thank you," before realizing who Tom was.
"The reason why there is so much stigma around different people these days is that we don't interact with each other. We don't stop and talk to people we walk past in the street,"
As people removed their headphones to engage, their social masks also seemed to fall away. The positive energy generated by offering compliments was palpable.
Inspiration from Alternative Styles and Personal Connections
Tom’s interest in photographing alternative styles stems partly from his wife, Alice, who also experiences anxiety and dresses in that fashion.
"My wife is one of my big inspirations, she's covered in tattoos and wears big dresses,"
"For her, it's almost an armour. It means she can not worry about people looking at her, because she knows they are looking at her for a specific reason.
"I have tattoos on my hands, I have a tattoo on my face. Now a lot of people may walk past me and think 'oh he's not going to be a nice person' or 'he might cause trouble'.
"I'm sure anyone who knows my stuff knows that couldn't be further from the truth.
"If everyone looked the same the world would be boring, so let's celebrate the people making decisions and choices to stand out."
Meaningful Encounters and Their Lasting Effects
Many interactions have left an impression on Tom, but one of his earliest experiences remains particularly memorable.
After photographing a woman, her mother contacted Tom to share that her daughter had autism and mental health challenges. The family was concerned, but Tom's interaction gave the daughter a significant boost.
"She actually ended the message by saying 'you've saved my daughter's life,' which brought tears to my eyes,"
This moment highlighted the impact Tom could have and reinforced his commitment to his mission.
Another notable encounter was with Theo, an autistic homeless man who traveled to Cardiff hoping to meet Tom and seek assistance.
Theo is now working toward securing social housing and Universal Credit while seeking employment. Tom maintains regular contact with him and shares updates on his Instagram page.
Thousands follow Theo's story online, with many donating and offering support.
Challenging Stereotypes and Encouraging Self-Expression
Tom's work spans various subcultures, including punks, skinheads, and goths, aiming to dismantle stereotypes and promote confidence in self-expression.
"For me, a big part of what I'm doing, and because it's so widely seen now, is to try and remove any stigma that is involved for anyone in any kind of culture or subculture."
"I think we should be raising people up who are trying to express themselves and that is a big part of what I'm trying to do.
"I'm trying to give people that voice they're craving to say what they want to say about society, about themselves, about the world.
"There are a lot of people that will message me now and say 'I love dressing like that but I'm always too scared but I've started going out and wearing this... because I've seen that people are'."
Several followers have also shared that they began complimenting strangers after seeing Tom's content.
Philosophy on Beauty and Individuality
Tom emphasizes that his work is not about conventional beauty standards but about celebrating personal choices.
"My mantra is it's not what you have been born with, it's the decisions you have made.
"I don't want it to be a beauty contest, because that's not what I'm about, it's about showing people that are cool.
"You have traditional stereotypes of what is beautiful and what's not, but who is to say that is correct.
"Anyone can be beautiful, anyone is beautiful and I think the decisions people make should be celebrated.
"People have a way they want to look artistically, it's art at the end of the day, and there are no rules with anything like that."
