Early Mental Health Challenges
When Ayla Jones was 15 years old, she believed someone was drilling through the walls at night to kill her.
This was the reality Ayla, from Sandfields, Port Talbot, experienced after early mental health problems developed into full psychosis.
Now, 10 years later, after years of missing school and hospital stays, she has graduated as a mental health nurse.
At one point, she believed doctors and her parents were part of a plot to kill her, but now that she is better, she says,
"I have the passion to, hopefully, make a difference."
Ayla was a happy only child who enjoyed primary school and had a close relationship with her parents, she said.
"I had friends and things like that. I was always doing well academically,"she added.
However, in her final year of primary school, her brother Alfie was stillborn, and Ayla began to wrongly believe it was her fault.
"I've never been able to cope with change so I think the idea of being an only child and then having a brother or sister, I found that quite difficult. I think that's what made me think, since I didn't want a brother or sister at first, maybe that's why [Alfie] died."
Her second brother, Archie, now 13, was born two years later, and Ayla says she loves him "so much."
However, the trauma of Alfie's birth stayed with her, and when she moved to Sandfields Comprehensive School, her mental health began to suffer.
"That's when I started making myself ill,"she said.
"I've never been confident and hated the way I look. When all the trauma and change happened [at school], it's like I turned to controlling my food - what was going into my body and what was coming out - as a way to cope."
Cefais fy episod drwg cyntaf pan o'n i'n 15 oed," meddai
After her parents discovered she was harming herself, she was referred by her GP to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services.
This led to Ayla being diagnosed with bulimia, anxiety, and depression.
She initially received counselling, which did not help, so she was eventually prescribed low-dose antidepressants.
She explained this period had an impact on her education.
Ayla was in the top sets when she started secondary school, she said, but once mental health problems arose,
"that all went out the window."
"It was difficult for my mum to get me to school. I was very isolated."
Then came the psychosis.
"I had paranoia and was experiencing delusions. I had my first bad episode when I was 15,"she said.
She thought someone she knew was going to kill her.
"I thought they were working with the devil,"she explained.
Emergency Mental Health Act and Hospital Stays
Ayla would hear drilling at night and believe the person was building a secret path into the house. But it was all in her mind.
She did not believe doctors or her parents when they told her she was ill, and thought they were part of a conspiracy to kill her.
"I thought I had to save the world. I wanted to go to church to talk to God to save the world from the devil."
Fearing Ayla was a risk to herself, she was detained in hospital under the Mental Health Act.
Eventually, she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, an external link.
She was given stronger antipsychotic drugs and spent the following years going in and out of hospital.
Leaving School Without Qualifications
On her 17th birthday, while in hospital, the doctor told her parents he wanted to try a much stronger drug, clozapine, as a last resort, but it could have serious side effects.
The medication helped her mental health but her body reacted very badly.
"I couldn't do anything,"she said and was put back on weaker drugs.
She had been too unwell to attend school or any form of education for years and knew she was missing out on a normal teenage life.
"When I saw people my age, going to school with them, they would go out with their friends. But I wasn't even doing simple things like getting the bus on my own."
She left school without GCSEs, which was very disappointing as she had always been academic and in higher sets.
However, weekly visits from a community nurse as part of her Early Intervention in Psychosis treatment team proved crucial.
"That support had a big impact in helping me get back into the community."
Turning a Corner at 19
By the time Ayla was 19, she said she was "very happy" after turning a corner.
At 18, she was transferred to adult services.
"I wasn't happy with my life. I was existing and nothing more - I wasn't living,"she said.
The doctor decided to trial mood-stabilising tablets and for the first time in years, Ayla began to feel emotions again.
She gradually reduced her use of antipsychotic drugs.
Feeling more stable, she gained confidence and decided to apply to Coleg Afan.
"At college, that's when my life changed. I made friends then. I got a best friend. I was getting buses and things on my own and doing things I had seen other people my age doing."
"I knew I wanted to go into nursing and help people with mental health. I had the passion to, hopefully, make a difference."
She completed a BTEC in health and social care and then a Diploma in Access to Higher Education.
"I knew I wanted to go into nursing and help people with mental health and help people get through what I went through,"said Ayla.
She was accepted to Swansea University and in September 2021 moved into halls of residence but decided it was "too soon."
"I couldn't cope and ended up deferring for a year. But I had the awareness to know," she added.
Future Plans and Advocacy
Now she plans to use her experiences to help school children.
"So many young people are struggling with their mental health,"she said.
"I would love to see proper support in schools, in an inclusive way. I don't think school is suitable for people who don't fit the mainstream category, and that's wrong."
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