Ellie Kildunne Opens Up About Post-World Cup Emotions
England full-back Ellie Kildunne, who has played in the past two Rugby World Cup finals for England, has revealed feeling "really alone" following an emotional downturn after the Red Roses' Rugby World Cup victory.
Kildunne was a standout player before the tournament, notably scoring a brilliant solo try in England's final win against Canada at the sold-out Allianz Stadium, which held 82,000 spectators in September.
Four weeks after securing England's first World Cup title in 11 years, Kildunne returned to club rugby with Harlequins, playing before 2,929 fans at Twickenham Stoop against Loughborough Lightning.
"You are playing in front of a sold-out crowd at Allianz, you have just won a World Cup, and the next minute you are back playing over the road in front of a slither of the amount of people," the 26-year-old told .
"There was that little bit of a dip in 'why I am doing this?' I always say it is for the happiness and inspiring people and every room I walk into.
My expectation gets higher of myself all the time. If I played 8/10 then I feel I might as well have played 2/10. I am going to have the highest standards for myself to keep on striving to get better.
I needed to rework that out - how am I going to keep pushing myself from within, to keep wanting to do my best and stay completely focused.
I went from playing Guitar Hero every night with my team-mates to going back to living on my own in Reading. Suddenly I was like 'wow, I feel really alone'.
There is going to be good and bad emotions and things that I want to talk about. Like a dip, which is natural after a peak, but who do I talk to?
It made me value the times that I have got with people."
Performance and Challenges During the World Cup
The 2024 World Rugby women's player of the year maintained strong form throughout the previous year but missed the World Cup quarter-final victory over Scotland due to a concussion sustained in England's final pool-stage match against Australia.
Kildunne, who left the field shortly after half-time, had struggled against the Wallaroos, committing several uncharacteristic errors.
She was recalled for the semi-final against France, where she scored twice, including another remarkable solo try, dispelling any doubts about her form ahead of the final.
"I look back at moments in that World Cup, and I probably didn't have my best game against Australia for quite a few reasons," Kildunne said.
"Then, obviously, I got concussed, which added the pressure back on. Am I going to get back? Am I getting back for a semi-final, or am I going to get back for a final? We needed to see how far we'd get in the tournament.
I don't crumble under that pressure - I kind of rise to it, and that's only because of the people around me.
That's not something, yes, there is probably something genetically inside my brain and my heart that weirdly loves that type of thing."
Current Club Status and Future Goals
Harlequins currently sit four points off the play-off spots in the Premiership Women's Rugby table, with Kildunne rediscovering her motivation for success.
More than 70,000 tickets have been sold for the Red Roses' opening Six Nations match against Ireland at Allianz Stadium on Saturday.
Kildunne described the prospect of returning to represent England at the venue where she won the World Cup as "very special."
In December, she helped Harlequins defeat Bristol Bears at Allianz Stadium, scoring another individual try on her return to the home of English rugby.
John Mitchell's side aims for an eighth consecutive title this season, but Kildunne is focused beyond that, using the 2029 World Cup in Australia as motivation.
"I still want to be the best player in the world and to keep on playing my rugby," she added. "I want to win another World Cup. I want to win a Prem. There is so much I still want to do."
Kildunne has earned 57 caps for England.
