Life-Changing Decision in Benidorm
While sitting on a balcony in Benidorm, Zander Murray made a decision that would transform his life profoundly and positively.
He revealed a secret he had kept for 16 years by announcing to friends on social media that he was gay, becoming the first senior male player in Scottish football to come out.
Nearly four years later, the former striker expresses that he is much happier living as his authentic self. He now dedicates his time to advocating for others as a public speaker and activist.
The 34-year-old acknowledges that although football has made strides toward inclusivity, the men's game in Scotland still has significant progress to make compared to the women's game regarding LGBT visibility.
Speaking to Radio Scotland Breakfast, he said:
"I just replayed my whole life - 16 years of pain and struggling in the closet - and I just thought to myself, 'What is the big deal?'"
"I didn't have any social media at the time, just my private Facebook which had my football boys on it and I thought, 'Do you know what - I am just going to make a wee post.'"
"Then I fell asleep, when I woke up it was an explosion of notifications, all the media outlets picked it up."
"But the reason I am here doing what I am doing are the thousands of messages I got from young people, old people, from football academies, people from all walks of life, from different careers, finance, police officers, all struggling with their sexuality."
Support at Gala Fairydean Rovers and Public Response
At the time of his announcement, Murray, originally from Glasgow, was playing for Gala Fairydean Rovers. He has previously commended the club's management and his teammates for their support.
He was deeply moved by the public's reaction and felt honored to provide hope to others, some of whom had contemplated suicide before reading his story.
"They saw my story and it helped them," he said. "After that, I knew I needed to continue."
Struggles with Internalised Homophobia
Murray recalls the difficulty of being confined by his secret and now recognizes that he had been dealing with internalised homophobia, where LGBT individuals absorb negative societal beliefs about their community.
"I despised myself back then," he said. "I hated myself, I was so conscious of anyone seeing a slight hint of me being camp."
"I'd just give my younger self a cuddle, and tell myself, 'You can do it - it's absolutely fine.'"
"I am so glad to be here three-and-a-half years later having empowered so many people."
Transition to Advocacy and Public Speaking
After retiring from football in 2024, Murray has become an award-winning keynote speaker. He delivers presentations on fostering inclusivity in sport to schools, football clubs, and major organizations worldwide, including UEFA.
He was featured in the BBC Disclosure documentary, Out on the Pitch, which aired in March 2023 following his coming out. The program examined efforts to combat homophobia in football and ways to make the sport more inclusive.
"There are 130,000 footballers that play professionally worldwide in the men's game," he said. "We currently have zero that are gay or bisexual in the men's game."
"That figure is not pleasant but I do believe Football vs Homophobia and the SPFL in particular are really paying attention."
"I just wish someone could see the work that I am doing, and others who have been open and say 'If they can do it maybe I can as well'."
LGBTQ History Month and Ongoing Challenges
This month marks LGBTQ History Month, an occasion to highlight the history and celebrate the lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals.
Research indicates that LGBTQ people in Scotland feel more than twice as excluded from football compared to other sports.
While acceptance in the men's game remains limited, the women's game is significantly ahead, Murray noted.
"If you look at the women's game you have just over 5,000 playing professionally across Europe now which is growing at an amazing rate," he said.
"I tried to count how many gay, bisexual openly LGBT players there are in the women's game. I got to 100 and lost count, it was just not a problem - it was just so easy to see high-profile figures."
"But in the men's game there is none of that. If we can continue to break down the barriers, that's where the power lies."
"I hope in five, 10, 15 years time I can lay back on my balcony in Benidorm and see open, out players with no problems - that's the dream."
Encouragement for Others to Come Out
Murray advises those in football who are considering coming out to disregard negativity.
"People who are struggling with their own sexuality, particularly in male-dominated environments and toxic masculinity environments, need to see other people who are out - people like me," he said.
"They need to see we are just normal people. People just need more of that, the more of that the better - that ignites the change."
