On the GAA Social podcast, John McAreavey opens up about grief and moving forward
It has been 15 years since Michaela McAreavey was murdered during her honeymoon in Mauritius.
In January 2011, the 27-year-old teacher was found strangled in a bath at a hotel, just 12 days after marrying John McAreavey. To date, no one has been convicted for her murder.
Two hotel employees were tried for the murder but were acquitted in 2012.
Michaela was the daughter of Mickey Harte, the renowned Tyrone All-Ireland winning Gaelic football manager, and her death deeply affected Ireland and beyond.
Speaking on the GAA Social podcast, John McAreavey discussed the process of overcoming heartbreak and pain, while also sharing a message of hope and gratitude for life.
"I haven't been able to say it for a large chunk of my life, but I am happy and I've a lot to be happy and grateful for, and I thank God for it," he said.
John McAreavey: Moving forward after Michaela. Living life as best you can.
Guilt 'has always been a struggle'
Michaela and John met as students in Belfast and married on 30 December 2010.
Tragedy struck 12 days later when Michaela went alone to their room at a luxury resort in Mauritius after lunch and was later found by John, who raised the alarm.
John, now 41, recalled the shock and anger he felt regarding the handling of the investigation and the absence of convictions.
"I've never asked the question of, 'why did this happen to me?', I've always just felt so sorry for Michaela," he said.
"It's only now that I'm able to talk about it quite logically. There's still a hell of a lot of pain associated with it, but I accept that it's always going to be the case.
"I know how intense it is to live with that pain, so I've been able to find a way to manage it."
McAreavey, who played for Down's senior football panel and won an All-Ireland Intermediate title with his club Tullylish in 2010, noted that the phrase "moving on" has never felt comfortable to him.
"I've said before about moving forward, and that just changes the reference around it.
"You'll never move on from something like that, you can't just let that be. You have to find a way to move forward.
"I'm still heavily involved for trying to find justice for Michaela so it's still a very active part of my life."
Faith has been significant in his healing process, with his relationship with God helping him appreciate each day as a gift.
"Right from the moment it happened I felt that warmth and protection, and I've never felt alone too much in that way.
"A lot of that was down to Michaela, too, with the amount of faith she had in God.
"I'm someone who lives with gratitude. I can't look at it any other way because I still have so many things that are good in my life.
"Yes, I had this awful, traumatic experience. But I got to have Michaela and I got to experience her, even for a short time."
John also acknowledged his ongoing struggle with guilt surrounding Michaela's death.
"I always believe when you are with somebody, you are there to protect them.
"You do and you have to [be pragmatic that he could not have stopped her death], it's the only way to take yourself out of it. It's something that I've had to live with and navigate through."
'That was a big thing'
While the pursuit of justice in Mauritius continues, Michaela's legacy has endured in Ireland. A foundation was established in her name, and a tribute match at Casement Park in Belfast drew a crowd of 20,000, featuring All-Ireland champions Donegal against an Ulster select side.
Following that match, McAreavey, who is unbothered by public attention, traveled to Galway with friends where he met Tara.
"It wasn't an overly conscious decision that I was going to go and meet somebody.
"It was an emotional time, and I remember waking up on the Monday after the match for Michaela and I felt a lot lighter, something had definitely changed.
"There was lanterns at the event and it must have been during the week when I was watching it back, they went into the sky and formed the shape of a 'M'.
"I read that as Michaela saying, 'John I'm fine here and off you go, move on forward'. That was a big thing."
"I went to Galway and bumped into Tara, and conversation struck and off it went."
John married Tara in 2016 and they have two children, James and Lily.
With the support of the Harte family, whom John describes as "great people," he and Tara wed in 2016 and now share two children.
He described a close bond with the Harte family, especially with Mickey and Michaela's brother Mark, who has become a good friend.
"When you love someone you want the best for them, and I truly believe they were happy for me. They seen the pain I was in, and it represented coming out of that pain.
"There were tears, but it was all from the right place. It's tricky to navigate, but they've all been very supportive."
McAreavey praised Tara's support as "unbelievable" and essential as he balances moving forward with his ongoing fight for justice.
"The time I met Tara I was still grieving, and then you are dealing with these new feelings.
"She's been thrown into this limelight. There was always so much love there, even in the times where it felt like it was too difficult, it's always come back to that."
'The fight will never go away'
John expressed a strong sense of responsibility to continue seeking justice for Michaela 15 years after her death.
While progressing in other areas of life, he acknowledges a persistent determination.
"The least you would expect it the people who are responsible would have to pay for that.
"It does seem impossible at times, but then I see other people around the world in cases that have went on for 20 or 30 years and that gives me hope.
"I truly believe if the right people have the will then they can make things happen."
In November, Irish Tánaiste Simon Harris announced "immediate engagement" with Mauritian authorities after meeting with the McAreavey and Harte families. John stated,
"I can only control what I control.
"We've been working with the department of foreign affairs in Ireland for quite some time to engage through the diplomatic routes.
"That's where it has to be, but it's imploring them to do what they have to do. That is ongoing. It's essentially asking people to do their job."
John hopes there remains a possibility that the two hotel workers acquitted in 2012, Sandip Moneea and Avinash Treebhoowoon, could be retried.
Treebhoowoon initially confessed to the murder but later pleaded not guilty, claiming his confession was coerced by police.
The original trial faced challenges including crime scene contamination, lack of DNA evidence, and the death of a former suspect and key witness, Raj Theekoy. Despite this, McAreavey remains hopeful.
"There's no guarantees you would get the verdict. What we experienced was a circus, but right now that would be enough victory, to see those guys go through the mill again.
"If I focus too much on the outcome then it won't serve me well. All I can focus on is the pursuit of that justice."
He believes the outcome depends largely on his own determination to keep Michaela's case in public attention.
"The moment I stop pursuing things, then people over there will respond in kind.
"The longer it goes on it does get challenging to see, 'where is this going?. But I feel with the right people engaged it can happen."
