Player Guide for World Cup 2026
We’ve also prepared a comprehensive guide to every player heading to North America this summer. Every single one is just an elegant click away.
On that very topic, this is both great fun and dangerously addictive. Experiment and see how quickly the tournament draw can become unbalanced when just one of the leading contenders fails to win their group, as happened when I ran my model. Oh Spain, that last-minute equaliser for Cape Verde was so costly! The knock-on effect resulted in an all-Iberian quarter-final clash with Portugal, who swept them aside just as they did in the Nations League last year. Portugal advanced to the final, where they were defeated by Turkey, who had surprised Germany in the semifinals. I had Scotland reaching the quarter-finals as well, so I wouldn’t rush out to the bookies and place big bets on any of this. But yes, it’s great fun.
England’s Path to Glory
Having discussed not getting ahead of ourselves too soon, here’s an analysis of England’s route to glory as determined by Opta and their extensive calculations. Hey, we’re nothing if not a broad church.
Context of the Match
Let’s be honest with ourselves and each other: this really doesn’t matter that much. Not only is it a World Cup warm-up game, contested by two teams trying out a few things and ensuring no player gets injured, but it’s also a warm-up game between England and New Zealand — and history suggests those two nations aren’t much of a match.
Current Standings and Form
First, consider the current state of play. England will enter the tournament as third favourites to win, behind only Spain and France, and ahead of five-time winners Brazil and reigning champions Argentina. New Zealand, meanwhile, qualified for the finals by defeating Tahiti, Vanuatu, Samoa, Fiji, and New Caledonia in qualifying, with a cumulative score of 29-1. However, they have subsequently lost eight of their last ten matches, the latest being an embarrassing 4-0 defeat by Haiti. Their only win during that sequence was a notable 4-1 victory over Chile — who had been reduced to ten men after 27 minutes.
Historical Head-to-Head
Then there’s our good old friend The Past. England and New Zealand have officially met twice previously, both matches held within five days in the summer of 1991. Graham Taylor’s team won both games, 1-0 and 2-0, with Gary Lineker, Stuart Pearce, and David Hirst scoring the goals. There were another six unofficial games in the 1960s: between June 1961 and June 1969, England won every one of them, amassing an aggregate score of 35-2.
So, y’know.
Recent Performances
However, England’s last two outings were not particularly impressive — a 1-1 draw with Uruguay and a 1-0 defeat to Japan, both at Wembley — so it’s probably best for everyone not to get too far ahead of themselves. Yet despite the generally tepid nature of pre-tournament warm-ups, with all their lineup experiments and substitutions, this game tonight should be a shoo-in for Thomas Tuchel’s team. If they don’t win, the internet won’t explode, but it may start gently rocking and convulsing with mirth.
Not that anyone should be too euphoric or embarrassed. Because, let’s be honest with ourselves and each other: this really doesn’t matter that much. Kick-off is at 9pm BST. It’s on!
