Widow Faces Impossible Choice After Bereavement Payments Cease
Lorraine Wallace, a widow from Kirkcaldy, Fife, is confronting a difficult decision following the death of her husband: either sell the family home or return to work and place her two sons in full-time childcare.
She is now campaigning for reforms to better support families experiencing bereavement after her Bereavement Support Payments (BSP) ended.
Lorraine's husband, David, was diagnosed with bowel cancer in January 2023 and passed away 21 months later at the age of 44. He is survived by Lorraine, 42, and their sons Adam, 10, and Joey, 8.
The UK government has stated that BSP provides short-term financial assistance, while other benefits are available for those requiring longer-term income support.
David died of bowel cancer in 2024
Since the cessation of BSP, Lorraine has managed to work part-time while caring for her sons, but she said continuing this arrangement is no longer feasible.
"My boys are already bereaved so it is natural for them to fear losing their other parent, and now in a time when they need me most I'm not going to be there.
It is just me now, so I will have to rely on childcare before and after school. They will see me less and I will see them less.
Grief isn't linear - 18 months doesn't pass and everything is magically fine, which is what the support payment expects of you."
BSP can be claimed by a spouse or partner following the death of a loved one. Recipients receive an initial payment of £3,500, followed by 18 monthly payments of £350, totaling £6,300.
The support is not means-tested, payments are not taxed, and can be received alongside other benefits.
Since its introduction in 2017, BSP payments have not increased.
Campaigners are advocating for the support to be extended until the youngest child reaches 18 years of age.
‘The Life We Built Together Has Been Whipped From Under My Feet’
Lorraine described the financial strain she faces if she does not return to work.
"If I don't go back to work, we could lose our home, we wouldn't be able to go on holidays and I'd have to tell the boys they can no longer go to their sports clubs.
They shouldn't suffer more from this."
She is concerned about the emotional impact on her sons, who are already coping with grief.
"The thought of being away from my boys really worries me. Their emotional needs aren't going to go away.
They still need their mum around - they are still little.
They are still primary school children who have had a horrific change in family circumstances which has had a huge impact on their life.
Not only am I missing that one person in my life I thought I was going to grow old with, the life we built together has been whipped from under my feet."
Lorraine also shared the challenges of balancing financial responsibilities with supporting her children emotionally.
Lorraine said she struggles to be the breadwinner while helping the children with their grief
Along with over 100,000 others who have signed a petition, Lorraine is urging the UK government to increase the BSP amount and extend the duration beyond 18 months.
"There are plenty of others who are going to find themselves in my situation - struggling financially and emotionally.
David paid into his national insurance for 20 years - this outstrips what we have been given in its entirety.
The hardest thing is I am wearing so many hats.
I am trying to be their grief counsellor, their mum, their breadwinner as well as trying to navigate my own grief and support my children."
Once a petition reaches 100,000 signatures, it can be considered for debate in the UK Parliament.
On Thursday, Lorraine will join a group traveling to London to submit a copy of the petition at Downing Street.
A Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) spokesperson stated:
"Bereavement Support Payment provides short term financial support, with higher amounts paid for those with children.
Further help with everyday living costs may be available through benefits such as Universal Credit which provide targeted, means-tested support to those in greatest need."
Support and advice are available for those affected by the issues raised in this story via the BBC Action Line.
- 'Bereaved families need better financial support'
- Widowed mum calls for bereavement payment reform
- Bereaved partners face deadline for child support
