Mary's Struggle with Severe Anxiety
The mere thought of leaving her home triggered intense anxiety for 15-year-old Mary from Huddersfield. For two years, she often remained confined to her bedroom, unable to face the outside world.
"I would have panic attacks thinking about leaving the house," Mary explained.
"It was so frustrating because I wanted to go see my friends and I wanted to have all these teenage experiences you see in the movies.
"It sounds really silly, but you see all these people doing stuff and you want to do it too, but it was so hard."
Mary found it difficult to articulate why she could not meet her friends and feels she missed out on parts of her teenage years.
Support from Northorpe Hall Child and Family Trust
For the past 12 months, Mary has been receiving mentoring and support from the Mirfield-based charity Northorpe Hall Child and Family Trust.
"Mary is an incredible young person," said her mentor Lydia.
"She's had so many struggles, and so many struggles that she's hidden away really well, because on the surface Mary is such an articulate, confident young person - but the huge barrier was literally getting her out of the house."
Lydia described Mary as "frightened" and noted that their work together was a gradual process involving many walks, conversations, and problem-solving activities rather than traditional sessions held indoors.
Challenges Facing Neurodivergent Youth
Northorpe Hall Child and Family Trust highlighted that many young people, particularly those who are neurodivergent or have additional needs, are struggling due to schools being under significant pressure and specialist services being overstretched.
Chief executive officer Chris Rowe stated, "More investment is needed to ensure that neurodivergent young people are not left to face additional hurdles alone at a time when they should be focused on building their futures."
A Department for Education spokesperson responded, saying,
"We are proud of our once-in-a-generation reforms that will make sure every child gets the right support, early on, in their local school, without a fight."
Diagnosis and Academic Challenges
Mary reflected that an earlier diagnosis of her anxiety and timely support would have made things easier.
"It would've prevented a lot of missing out on things, but I got it eventually," she said.
Mary has managed to take her GCSEs despite the difficulties.
"It's kind of difficult, but I feel you are not your diagnosis," she said.
"It's you and what you know, the subjects that you're strong with, so I think it's all about having passion and drive and determination."
Family Perspective
Mary's mother, Carla, is a single parent with two other children: an eight-year-old son and a six-year-old daughter.
Her son has been diagnosed with autism and is receiving appropriate support.
Carla suspects her younger daughter may also be autistic but, like Mary, is still awaiting an assessment, which she finds frustrating.
Carla described how Mary was struggling before receiving support from Northorpe Hall Child and Family Trust.
"She thinks she's going to be a failure - but she's doing really well, even the school is proud of her - I'm proud of her," Carla said.
Department for Education's Commitment
The Department for Education spokesperson added,
"We recognise that exams, like other things in life such as job interviews, can be stressful.
Schools and colleges should encourage pupils to work hard, but not at the expense of their wellbeing and the support provided by schools should help pupils manage this stress.
Through our £4 billion investment we're backing schools to improve inclusion, raising the number of specialists on the ground and rolling out comprehensive training for all teachers."
Mary's Message to Others
Mary documented her exam stress through a video diary and chose to speak publicly about her experiences to help others.
"I remember when I first started struggling, I was like 'no-one else has this, no-one else struggles with this, it's so stupid, how do I explain that I'm scared of leaving the house - it's such a stupid fear.'"
"But I guessed that, out of anyone that's going to see this, if at least one person looks at this and goes: 'Oh, do you know what - maybe it's not so bad after all.'"
"I always, always want to be the person that I wish was there for me."
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